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Monday, March 23, 2020

Slow Sewing During a Pandemic

I've been home since March 12th. I'm staying home, hoping to flatten the curve as the number of infected people in the state of NY and NJ has risen, along with the death toll. I'm blessed that I can work from home and continue to be paid, since I work for a company that has always had a work from home policy.

Actually, I've only worked four days a week in NYC for the last four years...always working from home on Fridays.  So I thought I would have no problem adjusting to staying home. I prefer to stay home, secure in the sewing cave, stitching away. But it's different when you HAVE to stay home.

If you're reading this from a place in the US that isn't stressing stay at home to flatten the curve, and you believe it's not coming your way...oooookkkayy! But viruses don't care about political affiliations, whether or not you like our present president, or whether you believe this is a hoax.  Viruses run on their own time table and courses and for your sake, I hope it doesn't come to you. However, seeing the evidence of what's happened and is continuing to happen across Europe, I would bet on the side of caution and realize it's probably coming.

That diversion was to say that 10 days into staying at home I'm struggling more than I thought I would. I thought I would sleep until 8, get up and get dressed, have some breakfast and then head to the basement to work.  Here's my set-up.


Then around 6pm, I would shut down, swivel around and start sewing. I will tell you that never happened...not one day.
  
- I started in the basement on Monday and Tuesday and even sewed some afterwards but not as much as I thought I would.

- Wednesday I worked on my laptop from the comfort of my bed, never got dressed and no sewing.  

- Thursday I worked a little upstairs and a little downstairs, managing to change out of my pjs but no sewing.

- While Friday I couldn't drag myself out of bed before 11 BUT I had my laptop open to check on things. I ended up working until 7 to make up for oversleeping and not sewing at all.

I was looking forward to Saturday and Sunday to just sew but I've actually done very little. It seems staying home because you WANT TO and staying home because you HAVE TO are two totally different things.

This is where I am with the topper:




I still have to topstitch the front and hand stitch the hem.  Make buttonholes & sew on buttons and remove some hand stitching I did to the collar that's bothering me when I put the topper on. So not finished and no pictures taken.

It's not that I don't want to sew. I still have plenty of ideas and am looking forward to making the next two pieces in the cut pile. It's just I haven't quite adjusted yet to HAVING to stay home OR the unknown.

It's the unknown that's playing with my head right now.  Will my family and I be safe? Because two of my daughters are considered essential and have to go to work everyday.  Will my grandchildren be adversely affected by this? What will life be like whenever I can physically go back to my job? I had another worry - how long will this last? Well right now, I know I'm home until May.  All of early spring will be experienced from looking out the windows or my brief walks around the neighborhood.

So since I can only be honest...this is my post for today. I know I wanted to be a source of distraction but I'm struggling. And I want to say to any other sewists struggling, you're not alone.  I've pretty much gotten off IG because all of the positivity in the posts seem to be accusing me of not being positive enough...when honestly I'm trying not to curl up in a ball and just cry.

Now I know this will pass. I know I will adjust. I know I will learn to sew in the time of Corvid-19. I just didn't know I'd have to fight to get there...

...as always more later!




60 comments:

  1. Carolyn, we aren't alone though it feels like it a lot of the time right now. And reading yours and other blogs has been very helpful to me. I have worked from home since 2016 but our team had to come into the office in Seattle once a week. Well, last Monday the city basically got shut down. I am lucky because I still have a job and can work from home. But there are times I am almost afraid to go out. We will get through this. I am thinking of you and hope you and your family is and stays safe. Jean

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  2. I just didn't know I'd have to fight to get there...
    Me too.

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  3. I am so glad you posted this. I live in N. California and we have been told to "shelter in place". It's scary. I thought it would be nice to be able to slow down a little and maybe have some time to sew. (I'm a teacher and doing the whole distance learning thing with 2nd grade is a whole other blog post comment.) I am so distracted and anxious. I am trying to stay positive, but I'm actually really scared about our economy and how long this could potentially last. I am hoping that with time I will get into a routine. It's funny. I created a schedule for my students. I think I need a schedule for myself. All the best to you and your family.

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  4. I’m scared, too. And too anxious and distracted to read a book or do anything creative. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t feel that way.

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  5. I struggled during the first week, but found that setting a schedule, regular exercise, and challenge projects really helped. That's not to say that I don't still have my moments, but it feels far more manageable now. "Bon courage" to everyone!

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  6. This weekend I couldn't even bring myself to go in my sewing room - I just have no desire for it at the moment. I'm in Melbourne, Australia and from tomorrow I'm working from home until told otherwise. I know that working from home because I have to, not because I want to, is going to be a challenge. I also know that the impending cold, dark days as we head into winter in Australia won't help us to cope emotionally. Tough times for everyone at the moment and I think it's good to acknowledge that. All that to say, I'm right there with you! Sorry for the essay :) I hope you and your family stay safe and healthy.

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  7. I have this granite lump of dread in my stomach. I keep trying to stand back and take a deep breath. I have decided the TV is the enemy. The news is all about setting our hair on fire. Makes me angry. So I have shut it off and only watch a bit of evening news just to be sure there isn’t a meteor heading toward us too, lol. I haven’t quite figured out how to cope, but I’m working on it. I wish you and your family all the best. Deep breath. We’ll get through this because there is no other alternative. Take care.

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  8. P.S. love that top. It’s gorgeous.

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  9. hi, carolyn.
    thanks for being you. the post is just what we're all wondering. how to cope with the depression?
    well, the best option is to REFUSE to give in to it. have human contact, even if just by telephone, every day. get outside, even if it's raining (i know, it might be inconvenient, but
    it's for your mental health). eat well. dress pretty for YOURSELF. we'll get through this. prayers are going up for all. love,--anne

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    1. Fantastic advice and strategy!
      Thank you!!

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  10. First of all, you have such great ideas for print fabrics, always an inspiration. Also, be gentle with yourself, we are all feeling way more anxiety than usual. It's changing daily. Just do what you can and that's fine.

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  11. That topper is gorgeous.

    I worked from home (very successfully) for 10 years. I hope you don't mind some well-intentioned practical advice, written with ❤️!
    1 - Your work computer is in the basement with...your sewing cave? You need to separate those functions asap. Work area for work only. Separate by a screen if necessary. When you look up from your computer, you want to be looking at work related messages, not sewing related pictures, narratives, etc. This is too jarring and distracting. Preferably also no photos of family either, the rest of your bigger house space accommodates those comforts.
    2 - If areas of your life/time are bleeding into one another, separate them also. Set a timer for work, set a timer for sewing, set a timer for lunch hour, etc. If/when you train yourself to do this naturally, you can ease off on the timers, as they will now be internal.
    3 - The ability to multi-task is a myth.
    4 - Get outside and walk for a few minutes to half an hour, a few times a day. Make it brisk if you can. You need fresh air and oxygen.
    5 - Get some phone and video time in for work and play times. Schedule it if possible. My work was remote finance, and I am an introvert, and I know you can get your work done for a week at a time and never interact with another human being. Not to your benefit. Some interaction is necessary, and it has to be scheduled if not.
    6 - Dress as you normally would for work. Feel free to change clothes for different activities, in fact, it's best if you do.
    7 - Don't be down on yourself about ANYTHING. You are your own best friend, your own coach, etc. a best friend, coach, spiritual advisor, etc. would always treat you with gentle encouragement and love.
    8 - Each as well as you do when you go to work in the city.
    9 - Focus on specific task you need to/want to complete. Break these tasks down into mini tasks and specific steps.
    10 - At the same time, give yourself a healthy variety of challenges.

    Thank you for this post, you have done so much for me over the years virtually, I really really hope I have been able to give back a little to you, and that you quickly find your balance and enjoy this opportunity to make the most of the situation.

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    1. #8 should be "eat", not "each". Nutrition is very important, as is good sleep.

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    2. You've given very good advice with lots of good tips on how to cope and I agree with every one of them. I hope all the readers will put at least some of these tips into action for themselves.

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    3. I've worked from home since the late nineties and echo this advice. Routines and habits will be your best friend. The separation of work and play is essential... and sleep. If you can set your office up somewhere that is not your sewing cave or your bedroom that will help to clearly define work. I have a come back routine where I know what I will be coming back to start on when I return to the office and/or the studio. It helps me start into work. I also maintain the same schedule every day - a half hour coffee, an hour in the studio, walk, journal, breakfast, work. Studies show that habits and routines are comfortable, "normal" soothing and encouraging. With journal writing daily, I can dump on the page and then shred. This situation calls for excellent self-care. BIG HUGS.

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    4. R; excellent advise. Living in Utah where last week on top of everything else.... we had an earthquake. Plus lots of after shocks. Weird; to say the least... then my hubby's work computer showed another alert for a tornado!!! The tornado alert was just a mix up... it was for the earthquake aftershocks. But all in all it was a real treat to our bodies systems.
      Thank you all for the fact that you are being honest. So refreshing... of course we are stressed. When we are thrown into something out of the ordinary our bodies, minds etc... wonder what's next. We can't change things, but we can try to control how we react. Try to think of the positive things in life. Count your blessings... it sure has helped me.

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    5. I worked at home for years. It's hard. All of this is great advice. I get dressed. I never worked in my pj's. I put make up on too. It's easier to take you work seriously if you get dressed for work. My dd is working from home and she had a remote group meeting on Friday. She said that it was wonderful to see everyone. She felt a lot better.

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  12. Carolyn, Thank you!
    For posting, for honest, emotional communication, for that gorgeous topper - the fabric alone raised my spirits this morning.

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  13. Amen to everything you wrote

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  14. Read this last night as was still thinking of you this morning when i got to my computer! I think so many people are feeling like you... and for any of us not crippled with dread, it's a pure sign of overwhelming privilege. I was an anxious mess (panic attacks and all) two weeks ago when my family and I were all still at work and being exposed. Now that we've all been at home a week, and I know my sister and parents are able to be very cautious, I'm relaxing somewhat. You don't have that sense of peace because your dear daughters are having to work, and that must be so hard. Availability of healthcare is such a major issue at the best of times, and thats an extra level of fear. (I"m not being very helpful, am I? Just trying to say your feelings are real and valid.)
    Bizarrely, I'm actually really grateful right now for the lessons that my concussion taught me last year. I've had an extra 18 months to learn how to deal with isolation, loss of identity, and overwhelming anxiety and depression. i've got anti-anxiety meds coursing through my veins, strategies from therapy, and a lot of practice trying to cut myself some slack.

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  15. Besides your whole routine being upset and figuring out the work from home thing for 5 days a week, I wonder how much not having anywhere to wear the new garment plays into the lack of sewing. I know since retiring, my sewing has switched over to more quilt making and needlework.

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    1. Gail - I only have 8-9, 10 years at the max to work and I've been thinking about this ALOT - how am I going to transition, what will I do every day when the structure is gone? As for clothing, I work in such a casual job now that I can wear the garments I'm presently sewing at home. As I type this I'm wearing one of my Myosotis dresses. What I'm finding I need is every time I have an event, I need to sew something, that's the change.

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  16. In 1993 when I started my first work-from-home I made sure I was dressed and had breakfast. I then went to the third bedroom - one side was my sewing area and the other side my office. At 8:59 I turned from sewing to work, at noon back to sewing, and at 5 back to sewing. I didn't use a timer as someone suggested but I wasn't dealing with a crisis. I'm about to cut out a black and white gingham big shirt copying your blue/white shirt so I will be thinking of you often. I went to the grocery store yesterday and was shocked at how empty the shelves were and how many stockers were working to fill the shelves. It's one thing to hear reports but another to see them. I'm back home for the duration and will probably take up the offers of neighbors and have them shop for us. I am trying to minimize the amount I watch the news and focus on what I love to do - sew. I have been making several pieces for our first cruise in September, but now I will have several jackets with hidden inside pockets to wear locally and on the cruise next year. I might even wear them at home. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Keep inside, keep well, and know you have many virtual friends in sewing land! Mary Jackson

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  17. Thank you for your honesty, Carolyn. At times like this I too find it difficult to focus on sewing, even though it's the thing that usually lifts me from a state of paralysis. Your post makes me realize I'm not the only one.

    Here's to better times.
    Annette

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  18. Thank you for sharing your feelings. It helps knowing others are feeling the same dread I am about our economy and the aftermath of the shutdown. Hope to sew some masks for a doctor that requested them today to lower my feelings of helplessness.

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  19. Loved your thoughtful post. I am a long-retired introvert and so far the virus and the limitations it imposes haven't really changed my life very much, but I have had many of the emotions you express. I am in the habit of getting up, making my bed and getting dressed (including what little makeup I wear) so I continue to do that. But there is still a sensation of "suspended animation" that pervades my days. I am trying to use it to identify what, exactly, is important to me and how do I keep that in my life? Conversely, what have I spent time on that isn't really providing me much value?

    Your Friday took you back to your "normal" and maybe it has clues for you about how to address the other days of the week and I agree with RMarch, part of that is to separate work and leisure as much as you can. Otherwise, paid work and "time off" blur together and lose their separate identities. I think grieving our loss of "normal" is an appropriate response in these times, but we also have to find a new "normal" that we can live with.

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  20. Carolyn, I love your blog and and it comes to my email so that I am sure to get all of your posts. I want to send you a big virtual hug and let you know you are not alone during this crisis, none of us truly alone. I love what RMarch has written and it is such relevant advice. Please know that your followers are thinking of you and lifting you up in their thoughts and prayers and that we will get through this. Yesterday I read a post attributed to Bill Gates and it was about his thoughts about this pandemic, it was a bit of a sobering read but something that we all need to hear. Anyways, I have rambled on and it is all just trying to tell you that I think you are an amazing person and I look forward to reading about your sewing adventures and hearing your thoughts about what is happening in your life and in your country, thanks so much. Abby

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  21. Excellent post, as always. Your experience with enforced isolation vs. free choice isolation is a universal one, from what I'm hearing from other people. I have worked at home for more than a decade and I naturally self-isolate because frankly I just don't like being around people under any circumstances. I'm perfectly okay with a curfew, shelter-in-place, or whatever is happening here. However my partner is working at home now, and I am discovering how much I truly need to have the house to myself! I feel for all those who have the whole family home, and are trying to fit home schooling in with a full workload and everything else that normally gets accomplished in the course of day.
    Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts as well as the beautiful creations. You are an inspiration to me.

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  22. Your topper is gorgeous! You always use prints in the most interesting ways.

    Working in a pharmacy, I'm "essential" and terrified I'll get it or give it to family members at home. My husband, however, is a teacher teaching via internet from home. He has to "clock in" virtually by 9am and stay available to his students by email until 2pm. He's finding it very difficult to stay motivated and do anything with his downtime.--not so many questions or guidance coming in. He, too, is working hard at keeping his depression at bay as he deals with this isolation.
    We went grocery shopping and were shocked at the lack of products on the shelf. There were many items we did not get. We saw several face masks being worn, but I was especially struck at seeing no elderly shoppers at all. I think they're just too afraid to get out. So folks, please check on your elderly neighbors to make sure they're okay during this time.

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  23. HAVING to stay home and wanting to stay home are, in fact, 2 very different things. And it's very hard to remain positive and do things you love. Believe it or not, we are considered essential, but since we don't host a lot of business travelers, we're empty. As you know, I struggle every winter trying to find a routine. This morning, I made myself do something rather than just sit in front of the TV. I will have to go out on Thursday, because I'm running out of my meds - I had enough to get through March, like originally advised. And we'll need some fresh fruit and veggies by then. Hang in there. I wish I had something to say to help you, but I don't. Take care of you, do what you need to do to be mentally well and stay sane. I love you! g

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  24. Yesterday my boss emailed that if we didn't have our contracts to him, signed, in twenty four hours, he'd hire a replacement. Really? You have a whole slew of Public Waldorf Teachers ready to teach second grade from home? Fool. Finish your top, Carolyn. It's absolutely beautiful. We're depending on you, as we support others .... ;-) You're wonderful and you can do this. Also, I just read a work-from-home women say, if you feel "schlubby" put on some lipstick and perfume. I might just go do that right now! Hang in there.

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  25. yes working from home is a challenge, I hope things improve for you (and everybody). I read yesterday that people are rediscovering the joy of a phone call (instead of text) the human interaction is so essential.

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  26. Carolyn, your blog is a source of comfort and inspiration and I appreciate your honesty. Today I forced myself to put on make-up and shoes. It helped to get me focused on the day. But your blog helps too. Thanks!

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  27. We don't realize how the parameters of a job done outside the home shape our lives, do we? The schedule and routine of our lives is basically laid out around the days and times we work. I learned that one the hard way, Carolyn. Illness prompted an early retirement for me. Once my health situation was more stable, I discovered that I just didn't have the self-discipline I thought I did. I wore PJs all day and night. Slept crazy hours. Lost touch with people. And on and on down the rabbit hole. Now, I've made peace with interrupted sleep patterns (mostly out of my control), but I when I awake for the day, I do my morning routine. That's washing myself up, brushing my teeth, putting on clean clothes, and getting my first cup of coffee. When I do those simple things regularly, the rest of my day goes better. I've always thought that I was self-driven, and in many ways, I am. But shifting to being home daily disrupted me more than I expected. The best thing is just to do what you did ... be honest about it all. Once I spoke that truth, I was able to put it away and find a new way to live fulfilled. Thank you for talking about this kind of change. We certainly each need to hear it!

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    1. Helps to make the bed, in addition to the other "up for the day!" Items you have listed. Looks too good to rumple up.

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  28. I can quite understand the problem. First, there are no breaks between between normal activities. No shifting of gears. Try making each activity clearly defined by place, time, meals, coffee, a you would at work. Also, these are anxious times. Anyone who doesnt get that isnt watching. Anxiety takes energy. You cannot pretend that all is as it was. If you cannot sew, just wave at us!

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  29. I thought I would love not having to commute. Now I realize it was an important transition time in my day, getting ready for what was next. So I have more time, but its not thrilling me. I made a knit top this weekend. I get on IG every workday on my lunch hour, because I need a break. I need the positive-ness in my day. I was doing fine until I started listening to my adult kids, hearing how this worried them. I tend to gloss over stuff because Mom has to be the one moving forward, or no one does. But I've had a few sleepless nights after hearing that they are worried. They are talking to and about us like I talk about my elderly parents. Now that's a real reality check! Usually, helping other people with their problems is motivating. But work is so quiet, because all the schools are closed. It's killing me! I see endless days of paperwork ahead. Yuk! Hang in there!

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  30. Oh lordy I wish I could sleep. Been awake since 3. Too agitated to sleep (yes I try meditation etc etc). And I need to go to the office anyway. I have had my pay reduced by 25% and we are working from home every second day to have less people in the office and to prepare when we have to work from home. Assuming there is still work. Anyway enough complaining. I try and keep up with things I can control, such as keeping house clean, exercising (though gyms now closed) and eating well. Good luck and stay well. (from Melbourne Australia)

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  31. Thank you for your honesty, Carolyn. I think you speak for many whose lives are changed. I'm an Alberta teacher and schools have been closed to students and teachers for our safety. We are all encouraged to stay home and as I have travelers (my parents live with my husband and I) recently back from the US we are in a 14 day self isolation to ensure we aren't passing anything on. It's a worrying time for me as a teacher who often defines herself by her work and her students. I know my worries (and yours) are shared by many and are very legitimate. I especially appreciate the commenter with the list of suggestions. It is spring break for me but I am enforcing a schedule of a type (to help me not go crazy)and to get ready for teaching remotely come MOnday. I read many blogs and so enjoy yours so am leaving you with something I read yesterday. I hope it may help you. https://www.inpraiseofleftovers.com/blog/2020/3/22/i-finally-cried

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  32. Hi,

    I think we are all scared. We as as a people have never faced anything like this. Here Spring is around the corner but it has rained alot. I do not like it neither do my animals. You have inspired me many times on your blog.

    Blessings

    Sharon

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  33. One thing getting me through this insanity is that we are all in this together and not alone. I just read the USA has the third most cases in the world so I hope your readers heed your advice. I'm a doctor and I can say that we are all very anxious . Add to that my small clinic is down 4 staff so I' m being receptionist and nurse as well at times. I think my shoulders just have to be wide enough to carry the load. Haven't sewn in a couple of weeks but I think this weekend I am definitely heading to my sewing corner for some destressing therapy.

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    1. I thank you for your dedication and hope you remain well. Karen

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    2. Janine - I want to add my thanks also! You're one of the heros fighting this battle so that we can stay home! Prayers and blessings to you and your family!

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  34. My sentiments exactly, as they say! Thank you for explaining to me why I’m feeling this way. Your blog helps me with my anxiety. I wish I could do something for you in return. I’m glad that you are wearing your myosotis dresses. They are my favorites! I also love your flame shirt. It’s a good thing you started it! Hugs from Lindsay

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  35. Carolyn, I thought I was alone in my struggle to sew to my heart's content. I have made a few things but they are all simple. I just don't have the energy to tackle anything challenging. I'm so glad you can work from home and get paid. I pray for your daughters that have to work out in the world. Thanks for your blog and stating your anxiety which helps me deal with mine. Karen

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  36. Part of the angst is mourning, and grieving. Once I realized that, a small part of me is able to move on. It's okay to grieve what is lost, that sense of normalcy, of predictability, of all that might be lost, for ourselves and others close, even the millions we don't know. I am sorry I did not mention that earlier.

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  37. My husband works for the government and is due to retire next week. Sooo it's been a real ride with all that's been going on. Stress sure can put a whameee on us. I've been trying to find some way to give service. If I can think that I'm sewing for others it puts my mind at ease. It doesn't matter what it is you do. Call a friend/neighbor/or even someone you know that is stuck at work. See how they are doing. Believe me it helps you both.
    Carolyn, your topper is beautiful... soo bright and lovely. Of course, you have such wonderful taste in your fabrics, it's always a joy to see what you are making next. Take care... you are in our prayers.

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  38. Carolyn, thank you for all these years of posting and for continuing to post, for being honest, and of course for being CREATIVE! You rock!

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  39. You are so right about the "fight." There is a daily fight to maintain a sense of peacefulness and order at my home right now as I type. We are not forced to stay home yet, but I agree with you that it is coming. Atlanta is locked down, and we are within an hour's drive to downtown. Thank you for your honesty. We are all going to get through this, and I hope you adjust to the new normal at your own pace. And then hopefully we will be back to getting out of our homes again...

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  40. Best. Most authentic. Most universal. Post. Ever. You could substitute any "hobby" for our beloved sewing. You captured our current condition as a nation (especially those on the east and west coasts) perfectly. Thanks for sharing your schedule (relatable) and your fears. Godspeed to us all!

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  41. Your post made me feel somewhat better as I've been struggling more than I thought I would. We have an encouraged stay at home, with most things closed and evening curfews. I've chosen to self isolate to be a part of flattening the curve... but also selfishly as my lungs never fully recovered from last year's illness. I haven't left my apartment in 10 days. It's my focus or lack thereof that surprised me.... as the ever changing news draws me in.... away from the project at hand... then the thoughts rise to what our world will be looking like in the future, decisions that might need to be made. Every decision that used to be a nothing decision, is analyzed and evaluated and that's wearing. For instance I have a new neighbor and wanted to give her some homemade goodies I'd made, but concerned over all this, potentially affecting her health?, I didn't do anything. I liked your 'grateful' message on IG today but have to say I've struggled with IG too. Thinking 'being positive' and participating in special challenges would be a distraction... instead it feels sort of 'off', not quite right and a challenge. Still plugging away there... including more thoughts on my blog than I intended.... like yours here... just cannot help talking about this. I've also discussed end-of-life wishes & docs with my family, and have been calling beloved elderly vulnerable loved ones to chat. We are together in this and it feels good to lean on each other right now. Be safe and well. Hugs!

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    1. Lisa - Everything you've said has been my challenge with IG too! I love Instagram and have loved engaging on the platform but when I melted down over the weekend, I put my phone down. I just couldn't. It sent me down dark roads that I didn't need to travel. I've also updated my docs and discussed my end-of-life wishes with my family because we just don't know.

      However, on Monday morning I decided to change the way I approached last week. I've added more regiment to my day and stopped acting like it was a couple of days off from work. So far it's working but it's only Tuesday! *LOL* I'm also only watching the news from 6-7pm and at 11pm. 90 minutes is enough and I only allow myself lunchtime to read the news (NYTimes & Washington Post). I'm trying to give myself space to be creative again. I will let you know by the end of the week if it worked! :)

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    2. Lisa - one more! I've been home for 12 days now and since it seems to be getting worse here in NJ, I don't foresee going back to NYC to work any time soon!

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    3. Your area has been hit especially hard.... though it is exponentially spreading here too. Honestly, I've hit a couple of dark moments too, which is odd for my personality. Just glad we aren't staying in those dark places. The sun is out here today, with beautiful blue skies and I'm thinking of all the blessings and gratefulness there is in my life. Love and Hugs to you sweet Carolyn!

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  42. Before Covid-19, my sewing was close to non-existent. I would sew some and then stop for days. Being retired means I have a lot of time to do things and got out of the house often. Now that I am staying in place except for picking up medications or bread/eggs and milk I am bored. I have to agree when I want to stay in, I do but being forced to do so is rather painful. Trying to restart current project and move on!

    I am worried about this situation and I am listening to the experts. I can almost imagine what it was like during the depression and never thought I would see something like this.
    Seeing a rainbow last night with the most vivid colors gave me an uplift. I posted it on FB hoping to share a more positive moment. Cyber hug to you and continue to take care of yourself!

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  43. I, too, had delicious visions of all the sewing I was going to do. But home schooling my kids is WORK. And instead of fun sewing, I've been sewing masks for medical workers, which while rewarding, is also heartbreaking and, therefore, energy draining. You're definately not the only one feeling the way you feel!

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  44. Oh Carolyn. I hear you!

    I had a meltdown whilst brushing my teeth today. And that's ok. These are weird times and I'm going to cut myself some slack for whatever I'm feeling, because that's honest and easier to maintain (for me at any rate).

    I'm in the UK and the enforced social distancing is difficult. I completely understand and support it, and am adhering to it 100%, but the independent part of my personality wants to revert to teenager behaviour (which I'm trying to keep it in check!). As you say, it's the lack of independence which is difficult.

    I had no idea people thought/think this was a hoax. We've just had salary cuts announced so it's definitely very real here!

    I emigrated to the UK 15 years ago and have never felt so homesick. But am also enjoying the increased communication with friends/ family near and wide.

    My plan: show compassion and kindness to myself and others, follow the rules, and take it day by day.

    P.S. your top is beautiful, as ever

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  45. I joined a FB group called Closet Shopping Collective, which gives a different "assignment" for getting dressed each day. Today is day 4 and it runs 30 days. I have relatives in Manhattan and my heart goes out to anyone in the metropolitan area. I would guess that those who live alone have even more stress. I think I can speak for the sewing community when I say that we're here for you, Carolyn. Sending love.

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  46. Carolyn, I worry about my family, too. Some of them are essential (as am I), but have to go to work. One daughter works in a doctor's office and her husband is a county prison guard. Can't do either from home.
    Fortunately, Like you I can work from home. I start a new job on Thursday, but who knows if I'll be learning from home or will be going into downtown? No parking space for me if everyone's there, but from what I hear, downtown Albany, NY is deserted. So, on Thursday I'll show up as scheduled, and probably do orientation things with HR and the union. Might even get to visit my new office space (read: cubicle).
    Since this all started, I have had trouble staying asleep and then am exhausted all day. I know this will eventually pass, but as you said, the unknown is hard. We try to help each other here in town, but it's really hard to isolate and help at the same time. Hugs, love and prayers to you and your beautiful babies!
    Lorrie

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  47. I sure understand your confusion over how WFH feels now compared to how I thought it would be. I'm a teacher but for the last dozen years I've worked as the Technology Director for my school division. Since I'm on the computer, phones, or texting all day at my office I thought it would be business as usual but instead it has been very disconcerting even though I am extremely busy. The teachers and students have been home all week but I didn't start WFH until Wednesday. I do have a separate spot for my devices and I get up and leave for lunch but I am really missing my office and coworkers. There are a lot of online meetings and the techs and are communicating in TEAMS all day, as does the Admin Team I'm part of. It is just not the same. I'm in Canada and our province had the first death today and has 50 positive / presumed positive cases now. We know we're just getting started especially since the snowbirds and travellers have arrived home over the last two weeks. My dad is in a Health Center on an Alzheimer’s ward and he's 94. I have three children and four grandchildren all living in another province. There's just so much stress and anxiety. I am planning to retire this year and now I wish I had done so at Christmas. Who knew! Take care, Carolyn and thanks for your honesty.

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