Friday, June 16, 2006

Follow Up to An Open Letter

To everyone who has posted such wonderful messages of support and understanding, thank you so much and I truly appreciate each and every message I received both here and in my personal email!

However, the folder at Patternreview does still exist and since the way their system works, that folders are viable for at least 30 days if there is no activity, anyone will be able to find and read that ignorance for weeks to come. And also since it is the internet and everything is archived with a little effort you will be able to find it forever.

I am not going to ask Deepika to remove it. I truly believe that several people have shown their "true colors" there and the world should see that! I am also amazed that there hasn't been one comment "for the other side" posted here. So does that mean my open letter didn't reach them or that they only had the guts to say something on Patternreview when they were among "friends"?

I have decided to leave my open letter on my blog because as many people have written me (either here or at my personal email) this is a sewing related issue and since my blog is dedicated to all things sewing, I guess this is just the dirty, underside of the sewing world.

One final thing ~ Susan, I hope you don't mind but I have used your words as the quote beneath my signature on all the sewing boards. They rang so true in my spirit and will let people know what I stand for. Thank you for saying it so brilliantly!

And now back to sewing...

*Just a note ~ the date on this post says Friday, June 16th but I actually wrote this post this morning, Sunday, June 18th!


  1. Thank you very much for your last two posts.Succinct and direct,resonating what a lot of people of difference( colour ,creed & religion etc) all over the world have to deal with.
    The most worrying aspect for me is not just the here and now , but the next generation and beyond.We are product in part of the values and background we come from.
    Depressing to imagine parents amongst them.
    It is not up to you ar anyone else to ask PatternReview to pull the plug on the thread.Any organisation in the public domain has a responsiblity to show integrity.They are ultimately responsible for the contents on their website.
    Keep on sewing and sharing your warmth and passion on the web and world at large.

  2. First and foremost, let me say, if you (or whoever) finds it offensive, it's offensive. It doesn't matter what the intent or original meaning is/was.

    Second, when the other person refuses to acknowledge your beliefs, feelings, and concerns, they are being insensitive, callous, self-centered, etc.

    Third, in my anal retentive core, I want to shout "It's from playing cards. It's not racial." Then my better judgement comes in and says to myself, see points one and two.

    I think a lot of people get trapped there. That is, they can't get out of what I call the anal retentive core. Then, they get backed into a corner, and that makes them defensive, plus those of us who get stuck in the anal retentive core are not the most sensetive people in the first place. And this leads to a big fight and hurt feelings on both sides. Whether or not one side is right doesn't matter because as long as the hurt feelings are in the way and one or both sides feel defensive, no communication is going to happen between the two sides.

    So what's my point? I'm asking you to give "them" (which may include me) another chance. Certainly, I'm sorry if my flippant comment about my yellow skin added to your sense of injustice and outrage (or whatever you said you were feeling and I've forgotten).

    I'd be sorry to lose your presence from patternreview.

  3. Wow, Carolyn, I just noticed your new tag line. I'm honored.

    You have me down at Susan from SW. I'm from OK (Oklahoma) or Stitchers Guild. I've never seen Sewing World. (If that's what SW means).

    Anyway, I'm honored that you would use my words. Thank you.

  4. I want to offer you my most sincerest of apologies.

    I recently took a trip with a bunch of my girlfriends. I had a great time. Yes, it was a little expensive, but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I enjoyed every single moment. It was not until a month after the trip that the girlfriend that organized it shared with me her agony about the trip. It seems that one of the other friends did not like the location, the price, the agenda and she complained loud and long to everybody - except me. So while I was completely immersed in blissful ignorance and enjoyed myself immensely, it was not the same experience for everybody.

    I was shocked to find out that not everybody had the same wonderful time I had on this trip. I am just a shocked now to find out that I hurt someone that I admire from afar. It was never my intent and I am so ashamed. Racism is something that is my passion. I want so badly for everybody to realize that we all come from the same source and the beauty is in the diversity. To think that something that is my passion has caused pain to another human being is something I deeply regret.

    I grew up as a military brat. And when my parents divorced when I was 7, my Mom moved back home to live with her Mom. My upbringing included being in the minority where we lived. Talking about racism with neighbors who know me personally did not translate well to the internet. It is because I have witnessed the atrocities that you mention that I am so vocal about my experiences. It is the only way I can think of to fight it. I still believe that awareness is the key to obliberating racism. And the way to be aware is to have dialog. I never stopped to think that my way of fighting this is not the same for everybody. It took someone outside my circle of friends to make me aware again. Thank you for this life lesson.

    I am so so sorry that my ignorance and attitude of this subject spilled over to a website that you and I both enjoy. Your workmanship in the sewing room is outstanding. It would be a great loss to the sewing community to loose your input. I enjoy your blog. But coming here and posting these words are difficult. I feel that posting here is no different than sitting in your living room. It is rude of me to even bring up a subject that brings such pain.

    I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive.
    Thank you.


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